Mexican Speak

Mexicans: La Raza de Bronce


Mexican Words of the Day:

CHEESE: Maria likes me, pero CHEESE ugly’!

JUAREZ: My wife slapped me, I said: Vieja, JUAREZ your damn problema??

CASHEW: I was running after u but I couldn’t CASHEW.

PUTA: PUTA phone down and get to work.

JULY: Ju told me ju were going to tha store and JULY to me!! JULYER!!!!

HERPES: I had some cake to share with my wife,
this is my piece and this is HERPES.

CHAIR: I wuz about to eat a bag of candy, then
my mom said, Carlitos, u better CHAIR!

MUSHROOM: Orale Vato, when all my family getz
in da car, therez not MUSHROOM.

CHICKEN: My wife wanted me to go the store,
pero CHICKEN go herself.

Mexican Vs White Wedding WHITES: Send out invitations.

MEXICANS: Send out maps.

WHITES: Receive their invitations 3 months in advance.

MEXICANS: Find out about the wedding 3 hours before the wedding.

WHITES: Have seven BridesMaids..
MEXICANS: Have forty seven Padrinos.

WHITES: RSVP their invitation.

MEXICANS: Show up with three car loads, and are waiting for the rest of their family that got stuck on traffic.

WHITES: Go to the wedding AND the reception.

MEXICANS: Just go to the reception and the Baile after.

WHITES: Have elegant food.

MEXICANS: Have arroz, frijoles, brisket, mole and barbacua.

WHITES: Order the cake from a bakery.

MEXICANS: Have their cake done by la señora down the street.

WHITES: Eat the food and cake.

MEXICANS: Eat the food and cake…….. AND take some home para la
familia that couldn’t make it.

WHITES: At the reception, they drink wine
MEXICANS: At the reception, they drink Tequila, , Budweiser , Bud Light Bud Ice, Corona , Tecate, Pacifico, Casadores, Patron, Presidente, Jose
Cuervo Gusano’s, Reposado, and whatever else could fit in the cooler.

WHITES: Relatives get drunk and pass out.

MEXICANS: Get drunk, shed a few tears and start singing to Vicente
Fernandez songs, tell you they love you sooooo much, fight…………..then passes out. ..

WHITES: Dance at the party………………..
MEXICANS: Dance at the party to Norteñas, Huapangos , Rancheras, Reggaeton, Cumbias etc……………

WHITES: Party ends at midnight.

MEXICANS: Party ends when the COPS show up.

WHITES: Wake up the next morning NOT WANTING another beer.

MEXICANS: Wake up the next morning still holding a beer.

Now, you know you were laughing - cuz you’ve done at least 6 of these if not more.